The Mind Is Such A Fragile Thing
by messed up stargazer
Summary: After a really bad fight, Anakin lands in a coma.  When he wakes, something is missing.  Disclaimer:  I do not own Star Wars in any way and this is so not canon.  Please R&R.  I appreciate it.


Anakin and Ahsoka were fighting a losing battle on a Separatist battleship. The droids were overwhelming their troops, and General Grievous was easily beating the crap out of them. Anakin was sprouting a nice gash across his forehead, his forearm was bleeding profusely, and his left ankle was easily sprained, if not broken. Ahsoka wasn't doing very well herself. Blood oozed out of a cut from her shoulder to her elbow, and she was fairly certain that her nose was broken. Grievous hit Anakin with the butt of the lightsaber he was using, and Anakin went flying. He crashed into a control panel, and slumped to the ground, unconsciousness' black embrace wrapped firmly around him.

With the head wound he already sustained, Ahsoka knew she had to get him to medical help. In an act of desperation, she threw Grievous into a closet of sorts, locked the door, grabbed Anakin's wrists and ran as fast as she could. She found Rex fairly easily and he helped her get the fallen general onto the _Twilight_. They half-carried half-dragged the unconscious man into the infirmary.

"He needs more help then we can give him here." Ahsoka voices what they were both thinking. If she left to take Anakin to get help, it would mean the squadron of clones would be trapped here.

"Yeah, kid. I know," He opened his comm., "All units retreat back to the _Twilight_." He orders and his order was gladly followed within two minutes.

Ahsoka was already waiting at the controls, so when the last clone ran on board, she detached and sped off towards help. The Republic ship _Prometheus_, which had been dispatched to give Anakin's squadron back-up, was surprised when they got an urgent communication from General Tano that General Skywalker needed medical help immediately. Nonetheless, they got the needed supplies and when the _Twilight_ docked, the proper paramedics were waiting. Anakin was whisked away and Ahsoka tries to explain what happened. She wouldn't let the paramedics check her out until she had briefed the captain. The second she finishes, Ahsoka's eyes roll up inside her head and she passes out.

* * *

><p>When she wakes up, she's in the <em>Prometheus's<em> infirmary. She props herself up on her elbows, but Rex pushes her down.

"Take it easy kid. You got hurt bad." Rex says quietly. Ahsoka could feel his worry and his relief that she woke.

"How's Anakin?" She asks immediately. Rex looks miserable but throws his head softly to the left. She turns and gasps. Anakin was wrapped in all kinds of tubes, and he was hooked up to all kinds of machinery. He even had one tube that went down his throat; that meant he couldn't breathe on his own. Ahsoka feels like she could cry.

"They said he's lucky you got him here so fast. Otherwise…" Rex trailed off. He didn't need to finish. Ahsoka knew if they had been maybe a minute later, she wouldn't have had a Master.

"We need to tell the Council and Obi-Wan-" Ahsoka started but Rex interrupted her.

"Already done. They know." Rex says. Ahsoka sighs. Her Master, her practical older brother, could be dying, and there was no way she could stop it.

It took them two days to get back to Coruscant. Anakin improved when they got him the best medical attention possible, he was able to breathe on his own but he was in a coma. They set him up in a hospital room, where he gets visited by many people. Ahsoka never leaves his side, Obi-Wan comes in as much as he can because he must still fight a war, Padme comes in whenever she can but makes sure Ahsoka is sleeping before she says anything, and even Master Windu stopped by twice.

"Padawan Tano?" Windu asks his third visit. Ahsoka has been by Anakin's side for two weeks now.

"Yes?" She asks, dreading what he was about to say.

"I'm afraid that the likelihood of Anakin waking up is too little to have hope. I'm afraid I must ask you to return to the temple. Obi-Wan will teach you until we can find you another teacher." Windu says, lifeless. As much as he was annoyed by Skywalker's antics, he cared for the boy. It was such a shame to see him die like this, weak, vulnerable.

"I don't understand. He's taken so much more than this. Why isn't he waking up?" Ahsoka asks, tears starting to fall. This wouldn't have been the first time.

"We do not know Ahsoka." Windu says, truthfully. Anakin _had_ taken many more blows before and still fought. Why he was in a coma, no one knew.

"I'll visit when I can Master. I promise." She whispers.

Just as she leaves, Anakin starts groaning softly. She turns back and sees dull ice blue eyes staring back at her. Ahsoka breaks out into laughter of relief and, even though Master Windu is right there, she hugs him tightly. Even Master Windu smiles. But when Ahsoka pulls away, Anakin was looking at her, not with happiness, but misunderstanding.

"Who- who are you?" He asks, looking almost scared. Ahsoka almost screams because her heart has just been ripped out. Anakin has no memory.

* * *

><p>Over the next few days, people are introduced to him. Ahsoka, Obi-Wan, Padme, even Masters Windu and Yoda but he doesn't remember any of them. The only thing he knows is his name.<p>

In order to try and jog his memory, he is given his reports of his grand missions. He can read them, but nothing happens. He tries to visualize them, but even that does nothing. Anakin starts to become depressed, something Ahsoka and Obi-Wan are not ready to accept. They are still by his side, a continuous presence. They tried to make sure he didn't do anything stupid.

But they didn't know that they only made his depression worse. Ahsoka was a constant reminder of the life he couldn't remember. She would tell him stories, of how he used to be obsessed with fixing things, how he would joke around when he was in a fight he enjoyed and how he would always find time to help Ahsoka whenever she needed it. These stories just made him feel worse. Obi-Wan would spin these great tales of how Anakin had saved his life over and over again, and how Obi-Wan was always so proud to be his Master. Nothing helped Anakin's depression though. Anakin was this great man, the Hero with No Fear, and he couldn't ever be him again. He couldn't remember, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't.

Padme stood by him as well. When Ahsoka was asleep, she would whisper about how strong their love was, and how she still loved him. And he would tell her about how he felt, truly. He would paint a smile on his face for Ahsoka but Padme saw right through that.

"I can't keep going like this." He whispers to her one night, while Ahsoka was sleeping on the other bed. It wasn't a rare sight, Anakin would be resting his head on her lap, Padme would be stroking his hair back lovingly, and Ahsoka was asleep on the bed next to him.

"What do you mean, Ani?" Padme asks.

"I can't keep living like this. They try to make me feel better, try to help me remember, but nothing works. My memory's completely blank. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I can remember. You're my wife and I don't even remember it. What kind of person can't remember his own wife?" Anakin asks, a single tear falls down his cheek.

Padme wipes the tear away with a kiss. "Hey, now. You are not some idiot that can't even remember his own wife. I wouldn't have married you if you were. You are the kind of man who's a hero, someone willing to risk his own life for others. You've done this so many times for me I've lost count. You are the man I love, and would do anything for. Just because you've lost your memory doesn't make you not Anakin Skywalker."

Anakin cries at this. He knows he is loved by many people, but he can't seem to want to live. The next day, he asks to get out. He can't stand being in that hospital. Padme offers her house, since he would be safe there and both Ahsoka and Obi-Wan knew where it was. The Council accepts, knowing Anakin could never again be a Jedi. Anakin's depression doesn't decrease, if anything, it increased. His wife gave everything she had to him, and he couldn't even remember anything about what happened with them. He tried hardest for their wedding, kissing her, making love to her, but he cannot remember. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan take time out of their day to visit him and he can't even remember what they were like before now. They show him the pictures they have of him and them and nothing works. His friends from all over the galaxy come to see him, but even their presence doesn't help.

* * *

><p>When Anakin stops speaking to anyone but Padme, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan, Padme announces that she is quitting being a Senator to Naboo, moving her and Anakin to her home on Naboo, and their marriage. People are shocked, but understanding. Her replacement promises her that she will strive to be as good as she was, and her friends promise that they will watch the galaxy for her. When she tells the Jedi Council, the response she gets is three words: keep him safe. Finally, when she tells Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, who have become Master and Padawan because Obi-Wan was the only one Ahsoka would let teach her, nothing happens. Obi-Wan had suspected about that, and this had only confirmed it.<p>

"He loved you more than life itself. It was easy to see." Ahsoka voices. She has become cold with anger and guilt. More so than Anakin himself used to be.

"You are always welcome to see him, anytime. You two are the only people he really cares about anymore." Padme says dejectedly. She doesn't get a response after that.

The move to Naboo was easy. Anakin didn't have any possessions, because he was a Jedi, and Padme didn't have anything she desperately needed on Coruscant. It was as if they took a walk there and never came back. Once they were there, Anakin became reclusive and the only time he was ever seen, was when Padme needed something because she knew she couldn't leave him alone. His depression was worsening and nothing was helping. Suicide entered his thoughts on a daily basis but Padme always talked him out of it, even though she never spoke. Anakin lived day to day, always in a state of hopelessness. His memory was gone, never to return.

Obi-Wan and Ahsoka visited as often as they could. Obi-Wan would volunteer them for any mission near Naboo, just so they could see him. They never took a break, unless it was at the Skywalker house. Anakin would look forward to their visits but, eventually, Anakin stopped talking to them, stopped wanting to see them. Ahsoka cries everyday now, remembering the man that had been taken from her, and Obi-Wan cries with her.

* * *

><p>Now, Anakin only talks to Padme and she stops leaving her house. Her government pays for everything she needs, and the people visit her. But they never see Anakin. They don't expect to, Anakin hasn't been seen for seven years now. Padme is cheerless nowadays. But she never stops trying to make Anakin smile. The years pass but Padme never gives up. Every day, she tries to get Anakin to smile. But every day, she fails. Padme cries as often as Ahsoka does now, and Anakin cries with her. She doesn't know, but Anakin steals a knife to his room, and secretly cuts himself when she's not looking. Anakin doesn't expect it to work, and it doesn't. It just hurts.<p>

One day, Anakin becomes sick. Padme goes down to get him some medicine, not realizing she was leaving him alone. As soon as she was gone, Anakin grabbed his hologrid and scribbled something onto it. He left it open, so Padme could read it. He didn't have much time, so the minute he was done, he grabbed the knife he had. It wasn't very sharp, but he didn't need sharp. Letting one final tear slide down his cheek, he runs the knife across his throat. Choking on his own blood, he feels himself die. He closes his eyes, finally at peace.

Padme wasn't gone more than five minutes but when she came back up to Anakin's room, she finds her dead husband lying on his bed. His eyes are closed, and he's not quite smiling but he looks like he's finally serene. She drops the tray, and tears fall mercilessly down her cheeks. She hugs his lifeless body and wails. She does that for hours. Once she had cried all the tears from her body, she sets him down. She turns and sees the message he wrote her.

_Dear Padme,_

_I'm sorry but I can't keep living like this. You won't understand. Having no memory is worse than any kind of torture you can think of. I wish there was a way to do this without hurting you but there really isn't. I think I love you, but not like you told me I once did. You must not believe this was your fault. I'm pretty sure it was the thing that took away my memory, but I can't know. But I do know that it's not yours. Tell Obi-Wan and Ahsoka I will miss them the most. I stopped talking to them because I didn't want them to feel as hurt. I loved Ahsoka and Obi-Wan but they would've stopped me if I kept talking. And I needed to do this. Tell them I'm sorry too._

_Anakin_

Anakin's death comes as a shock to everyone across the galaxy. Every member available of the Jedi Order, and some who weren't, came to Anakin's funeral on Tatooine. He was buried next to his mother, just like he would've wanted. Across the galaxy, many people mourn for the loss of a great man, who finally ended his own pain. No one blames Padme. Only she does.

* * *

><p>But there was one manmachine who wasn't mourning Anakin. When General Grievous caught wind of Anakin's death, he laughed. The night of Anakin's funeral, Grievous slept soundly. But he didn't know two Jedi were creeping across the ship. Two Jedi in so much pain, they were ready and willing to do something that they secretly wanted but were never able to do. They opened his door and went to either side of him. They ignited their lightsabers which woke Grievous.

"This is for Anakin." They said simultaneously, just as cold and hard as the other, and brought their lightsabers down. They watched him to die in pain, completely cutting him off from any kind of help.

As he died, he smiled. "Even though I am dead, at least I know Skywalker is waiting for me."

**Reviews are loved! And sorry if I mess anything up.**


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